dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
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They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
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Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
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