well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
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We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
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The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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