Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
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