that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
