I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I need to calm my uterus...
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
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