erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Randomize
