Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
