Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
