Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
