She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
