I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Randomize
