i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
