I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
