I CAN MOONWALK!
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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