Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
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