Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
And then he peed in my hair
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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