Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
