White coat. Heels.
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
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