How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
