Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Randomize