I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize