So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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