I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Randomize
