I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Randomize
