i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
