just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
