I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
