Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Randomize
