I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
10+ Incredible Tumblr Stories That Will Leave You Shook
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
16 People Who Have Raised The Bar For Petty Revenge
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.