Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize