Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Randomize
