every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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