Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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