I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Randomize
