he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Randomize
