i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Randomize
