I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You may now shotgun with the bride
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
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