Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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