Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
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