well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
