My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
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