You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Randomize
