Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
