Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Randomize
