I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Randomize
