Where is the hickey?
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Randomize
