i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
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