just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Randomize
