So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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