oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Randomize
