Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Randomize
