very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
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