Your mouth is God's brothel.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
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