Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
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