thus making me awesome and them whores
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
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