I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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