So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
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For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
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I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
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