There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
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