It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
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