There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Four minutes until I can fart!
Just took my morning after pill in the library
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
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