I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize
