Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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