Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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