What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Banned from zoo.
Again?
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
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