I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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