Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Randomize
