i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Randomize