Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Randomize
