Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
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how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
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Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
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