I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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