With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
