Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Randomize
