So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
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I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
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Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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