I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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